Tag Archives: bjj and human behavior

The 5 Love Languages and BJJ

I’m not sure how many people out there are familiar with the concept of the 5 love languages- and to be honest, “love language” is a bit of a misnomer: it would be more apt to call it “5 ways people show they give a damn about you”, but that isn’t quite as succinct.

The concept,  in a book written about by a man named Gary Chapman, really down to the idea that people either show they care about someone, or certain ways that displays of care and concern will resonate with people more than others. It’s sometimes touted as a method to understand how you can best show someone you care, but frankly I think that requires a level of self awareness in our actions that not many people are able to achieve on a consistent basis. I could go on at length on why, but long story short, while it’s an hard balance to maintain, ultimately I think caring for others while still having a sense of your own personal boundaries is sort of the best way to go. Anyway, back to the point, I have found that it’s a great way to understand why people do what they do: the language they use in order to show their care and concern for others.

The five languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service and quality time. And if you think about it, I’m sure there are multiple ways you can think of how these play out in your academy: the teammate who offers to let you use gum or tape, the teammate who offers to help you drill something, the one who gives you a (friendly) slap on the back off the mat, the higher rank who is willing to sit after class and listen to some of the problems you are having while rolling or maybe something you struggled with during your last tournament, and work with you on how to solve those problems.

It’s nothing ground breaking, but they are just little ways that people show one another that they care- I don’t know about you, but I wonder sometimes why people do what they do, and this is one possible explanation for some people’s actions. Granted, people are amazingly complex and this by no means is the end all, be all when it comes to explaining the many nuances of human behavior, but it’s a nice way to start to explain certain actions and behaviors by your teammates.

Have a great day everyone!

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