This post is really for the dudes out there, but women can take something away from it as well.
This comes from a conversation I had with a co-worker on Friday. He admitted some hesitance to doing crossfit because he would walk in knowing there would be women in the room that could lift heavier weights than he would be able to, particularly at the beginning. He also asked if he tried Jiu jitsu, if there was a support group for men who were submitted or tapped by women. Before anyone gets hot under the collar about that statement, this co-worker is a pretty nice guy, and let’s be honest, is expressing a fear that many allude to, but few outright admit: the fear of tapping to a girl.
Guy, this mentality will not serve you well in jiu jitsu. You should never be ashamed of being submitting by someone who has trained longer than you, has more experience than you, has put in countless hours of drilling, training, has put in their fair share of blood, sweat and tears into the sport- just because of their gender.
I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow- men are told they are better, particularly when it comes to physical activity than women practically from the day they are born. But the truth of the matter is it plays into the “curse of natural ability” that I have mentioned before. You may not have the expectation of athletic prowess, or even to do well particularly well per se, but if you have the expectation to do better than a female, that is where you will falter, and fail, and become frustrated, especially in the beginning. Jiu jitsu can certainly have its moments of roughness, but a very large part of the sport still involves timing and skill, which are honed through practice and experience- both of which are available to either gender.
If a girl taps you, instead of getting frustrated, and feeling like there is something wrong in the natural order of the universe, instead think of it this way: she, a fellow teammate, is skilled enough to take advantage of that weak point in your jiu jitsu, and this is a fantastic time to work on those parts of your game- improving both of your games.
And we’re up to day 6 of the 12 days of Judo: Kouchi Gari.